Dodging the ball of comparison
Oftentimes, I catch myself chasing the wind and being so restless. Always in the pursuit for greatness, and seeming to get nowhere close to it. Just one glance at my life and all I see is mediocrity standing alongside lackluster, and abandoned by my dear friend ‘Success’! Oh Success, how long has it been since I met her! Existing in a small corner of the world with no one knowing what I do, seeing about ten patients a day and earning just enough to feed my own mouth are my life’s achievements in almost three decades. Sometimes, I wonder if there is anything of worth or value in what I’m doing. Will I do anything, in the future, that would qualify as ‘preeminent’? I am jarred by Frustration, disappointment and hopelessness during the absolute silent hours of the night.
And there’s a worsening of these emotions when I see someone of my own age or younger than me well-settled, focussed, and established in life. It’s not from a point of jealousy that they are doing well, but one of disappointment as to what has become of mine. It has made me miserable on the inside. These sorts of comparative thoughts have annihilated all happiness and security within me. I cannot seem to get a hold of the situation. Mind you, I suffer from all these thoughts as a born-again Christian, like most of you. As I pondered over, I recognised that everyone around me was also in the ‘quest for glory’. The one who I thought was ahead of me thought he was behind someone else and wanted to go past him. One of my friends put it the best in saying that we are all inevitably in a “rat race”. No matter what we have achieved, there’s someone who has gone a little further. We all never seem to be contended with anything. So where does this perpetual cycle end?
As always, I found solace in God’s word. And it’s not the reference “Godliness with contentment is great gain.” Although, that is true in its entirety, it was not this verse that spoke to me. God reminded me of a verse from John chapter 10. In verse 41, speaking about John the Baptist, it is written “John performed no sign……”. It hit home! Jesus testifies of John saying, “among those born of women, there is not a greater prophet than John the Baptist” (Luke 7:28) and yet John performed no sign, no miracle, no fancy display of God’s power. Just preaching and calling sinners to repentance. That’s all he did. But I realised that, that was all John was “called” to do. To be a voice in the wilderness crying out “prepare the way of the Lord…”. It wasn’t his calling to come to India with the Gospel of Jesus. No that was Thomas’ part for the Lord. I understood a strange truth. It isn’t so much about pursuing greatness but playing the part God has ordained for you to play. We may have large or small, nonetheless, unique roles to play in this life God has given us.
Going behind success, fame and popularity is of the world. I’m not saying we have to live a passive life of failure. That’s not the point I’m trying to make. Rather, being content with what God has called you to do. Has He called you for some extraordinary? Praise God! Or has He called you for something ‘average’? Praise God for that too! We need it all. There’s nothing in this world that God considers as insignificant. If he did, he would have never died for you and me. There is a Christian college in North India whose motto has captivated me in recent times. It reads ‘My work is for a king’. Whatever your heart finds to do, do it heartily as unto the Lord (Col 3:23). Doing only what He called us to do is enough. He is the ultimate rewarder. If your job is seeing only 10 patients a day (for now), do it heartily. If your job is to hold the microphone for someone else to speak, do it heartily. God is looking at the insignificant things too. He is the God of the ‘insignificant’ ones too!!